Nowhere exposes a lack of etiquette knowledge quite like a restaurant.
After all, there are so many opportunities to slip-up – at the entrance, while sitting down, while eating and when summoning waiting staff.
It’s a minefield even for the well-mannered among us.
Luckily, the do’s and don’ts for restaurant behaviour is a topic that etiquette guru Sara Jane Ho covers in her fascinating new book, Mind Your Manners.
Read on for some of the highlights, from knowing whose job it is to go in first to whether the host or guest sits with their back to the room.
MAKING AN ENTRANCE
The do’s and don’ts for restaurant behaviour is a topic that etiquette guru Sara Jane Ho (above) covers in her fascinating new book, Mind Your Manners
Sara says: ‘Whoever made the reservation goes first because they are the host.
‘The guest always gets the best seat, which can be a view of the room or of a beautiful sunset or the ocean.
‘The worst view is of a wall, so the host should take that.
‘If you’re the host, remember that people want to be told what to do, so don’t say “oh, sit anywhere”. Unless there is a huge group and that makes sense.’
SETTLING IN AND ORDERING
Sara, who is host of Netflix series Mind Your Manners, says: ‘Put your napkin on your lap when your host does. If it’s been a minute and they haven’t, you can go ahead and do it anyway.’
And what about getting the ordering under way?
Sara admits to getting annoyed if there’s too much talking and not enough perusing of the dishes on offer.
But she has a solution.
Sara says: ‘Say, “So I’ve heard that the roast chicken here is simply divine,” while opening the menu – it’s so seamless your dining partner won’t even notice.’
CUTLERY
Cutlery should never touch the table again once you pick it up, says Sara
Sara’s Mind Your Manners: An Insider’s Guide to Social Fluency (Bluebird ) is available from Amazon
Sara has a golden rule for cutlery – ‘once you pick up your cutlery, it can never touch the table again’.
And that includes the handles – ‘so don’t lean your knife blade on the plate while the handle rests on the table’.
Any other cutlery no-nos?
A few, says Sara – ‘don’t hold your fork like a shovel, don’t hold your knife like a pen and don’t lick your knife’.
THE BREAD BASKET
Always offer bread to others first, notes Sara.
THE MAIN EVENT
So your meal has arrived. Now what?
For starters, says Sara, ‘don’t cut all your food into bite-sized pieces’ and don’t, in a posh restaurant, ‘rotate your plate while trying to access a certain food’.
HOW TO LEAVE TO GO TO THE TOILET
To begin with, never say you’re going to the toilet.
Sara says: ‘When you want to leave the table for a restroom break it’s elegant to say “I’m going to wash my hands” or “excuse me for a moment”.’
WHAT IF YOUR DISH HAS NOT COME OUT WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S?
Sara says: ‘If your dish has not come out at the same time as everyone else’s, you should tell everyone to please start eating while their food is hot.’
HOW TO CALL THE SERVER
Sara says: ‘I recommend holding up your hand at ear level to catch their attention and then trying to make eye contact.’
THE BILL
‘Ask for the bill if you’re the host,’ says Sara, ‘so that the server knows to give it directly to you. That spares the inevitable awkward wrangling if you intend to pay for it yourself.
‘If you expect others to split it with you, pause a moment. Your guests should offer promptly to contribute their fair share. If you’re a guest, don’t hesitate to offer when this moment arrives.’
Sara’s Mind Your Manners: An Insider’s Guide to Social Fluency (Bluebird) is available from Amazon. For more from Sara visit her Instagram profile.
