I’ll come to the wondrous wildlife. And I’ll reveal all about the enthralling journey to get here. Including the impalas trespassing on the runway and the Top Gun (ish) fly-by.

But first – the safari lodge. Which may just be the most incredible place I’ve ever stayed in.

I’m at Segera Retreat in Kenya, just north of the equator, with my partner and seven-year-old daughter and it has rendered me speechless.

I feel like I’ve stepped into an enchanted land.

The moment of peak speech-numbing awe comes when I step outside the first floor of our villa onto an elevated wooden ‘jetty’ that extends towards the breathtaking acacia-peppered savannah and ends with a plunge pool. In that moment, I’m not sure I’d rather be anywhere else on the planet.

Ted Thornhill checks in to safari lodge Segera Retreat (above), located in a 50,000-acre private conservancy

Ted Thornhill checks in to safari lodge Segera Retreat (above), located in a 50,000-acre private conservancy

Segera, a former ranch, sits at an altitude of 5,900ft (1,800m) in the heart of the Laikipia Plateau

We’re on a trip curated and marshalled by luxury safari company Roar Africa, which has a yen, it’s readily apparent, for delivering seamless trips of a lifetime.

But let me reverse time, to the journey out to Segera Retreat from Nairobi Wilson Airport, for that is wow-factor ground zero, where the first of many, many core memories for the trip is created.

Segera, a former ranch, is located at an altitude of 5,900ft (1,800m) in a 50,000-acre private conservancy in the heart of the Laikipia Plateau and to get there we fly out in a chartered four-seater Cessna.

I have to clamber over the pilot’s seat to get to my berth – the co-pilot’s seat – while my partner and daughter walk over a little Roar Africa red carpet and settle into their seats at the back.

Pictured above is Ted’s Segera accommodation – a four-bedroom family villa with a plunge pool at the end of a wooden ‘jetty’ (see video)

Inside Ted’s family villa. ‘It’s like MTV Cribs, safari edition,’ quips Ted, who adds: ‘The decor, like everywhere else in Segera Retreat, is wonderful’

NAIROBI EXTRAS 

We have several hours spare in Nairobi before our Emirates flight back to Heathrow (via Dubai). Roar Africa makes it a day to remember, booking us into the amazing Giraffe Centre, where we feed Rothschild Giraffes, and Cultiva restaurant, where we eat seriously delicious locally-sourced food.

And immediately before the flight we relax in a day room at the Crowne Plaza Nairobi Airport hotel.

The pilot checks the gauges and revs the engine to make sure it’s operating normally (aided by opening the window and having a listen), then we take to the skies, flying at around 120mph and 10,000ft over spellbinding undulating terrain occasionally draped in ethereal swirls of cloud.

There are no in-flight entertainment screens, no refreshments – and it’s noisy.

But it’s one of the most thrilling flights I’ve ever taken – with a landing that’s like a scene out of a Hollywood movie.

Segera Retreat has its own airstrip, a few minutes’ walk away, and after 50 minutes or so it’s in sight.

But, mysteriously, we circle around.

The pilot explains that he’s seen some impala on the runway – essentially a lawn-mowed slice of savannah with rocks painted white dotted along the edges.

Channeling his inner Maverick, he swings in low and buzzes the intruders to scare them off.

With the animals safely scattered we touch down for our transfer to the retreat – a 30-second walk.

And into nirvana we go – a verdant oasis of luxury with 10 extraordinary individual villas and guest houses dotted around exotic botanical gardens and linked by meandering pathways that also lead guests to a beautiful outdoor pool.

Two cheetahs pictured roaming the Segera Retreat conservancy, which covers an area three-and-a-half times the size of Manhattan

Elephants pause for a wash, with Segera’s anti-predator cactus-lined perimeter in the background

Our quarters? A thatched family garden villa, with two floors, four double bedrooms and four separate ensuites, plus the aforementioned decking area, which also sports banquette seating and a double futon underneath a wooden canopy.

It’s like MTV Cribs, safari edition.

The decor, like everywhere else in Segera Retreat, is wonderful, a beguilingly bespoke mixture of recycled and upcycled furniture mixed with statement designer pieces. Modernist meets 1930s expedition glamour.

The beds are enveloped by huge white mosquito nets, there are elegant writing desks, twin sinks in all the ensuites – plus walk-in rainshowers – and we adore the spacious lobby/living room on the top floor with its oversized standing lamp and modish chairs.

Plus, the inventory includes a kettle and a jar of proper ground Kenyan coffee.

Bliss.

Ted describes Segera Retreat as ‘nirvana… a verdant oasis of luxury with 10 extraordinary individual villas and guest houses dotted around exotic botanical gardens’

The interiors, says Ted, house ‘a beguilingly bespoke mixture of recycled and upcycled furniture mixed with statement designer pieces… modernist meets 1930s expedition glamour’

Above is the lounge bar/dining area in the old stables, which features a huge fireplace

Beyond the retreat’s anti-predator cactus-lined perimeter there’s a different kind of utopia, three-and-a-half-Manhattan’s worth of cinematic African wilderness watched over by Mount Kenya and populated by big cats, megaherbivores and 150 species of bird, including tawny and crowned eagles.

Our guide is ever-cheerful David, a font of wildlife knowledge who introduces us to this astonishing landscape and its inhabitants from the driver’s seat of an open-sided luxury Toyota Land Cruiser.

We witness animals big and tiny, driving slowly through tall grass for a heart-stopping moment with a resting pride of lions, pausing on a hilltop to watch a herd of 30 elephants grazing as epic storm clouds brew in the distance, and shining spotlights on two brother cheetahs as they devour a freshly killed gazelle.

They constantly look around in-between bites.

‘Are they bothered by us being here?’ I ask.

‘They’re more concerned about hyenas,’ I’m told.

We don’t see any of those, but we also spot a rare Grevy’s zebra, a dik-dik (the world’s smallest antelope), several reticulated giraffes, and stop to say hello to a tortoise that David says is over 100 years old (he could tell by counting the rings around its shell, just as counting tree-rings reveals the age of a tree).

Meals at Segera Retreat are served in a variety of locations, including a herb garden (above)

Ted writes: ‘Almost every (excellent) meal takes place in a different venue and by the end of our stay we’ve almost eaten our way around the entire retreat’

Ted describes the staff at Segera as being ‘full of infectious joy’. He adds: ‘It’s delightful watching how they engage so heartily with our daughter, whisking her away to make kites, entrancing her with beading sessions and teaching her how to make mocktails’

David also drives us to a village on the edge of the conservancy where we visit the Satubo Women Group, which promotes the sustainable development of rural communities.

They welcome us, quite literally, with open arms and, after we have a little dance with them, show us how they earn money by selling their intricate bead bracelets and sculptures.

The women here are so full of infectious joy. Like the staff at Segera.

And after the game drives, they take over. It’s delightful watching how they engage so heartily with our daughter, whisking her away to make kites, entrancing her with beading sessions and teaching her how to make mocktails in the bar housed in the old stables.

Rare Grévy’s zebras in the Segera Conservancy. Ted sees one of these strikingly stripy animals on a game drive, along with elephants, giraffes and a pride of lions (see video)

Segera’s villas and guest houses are linked by ‘meandering pathways that also lead guests to [the] beautiful outdoor pool’

Above is one of the most luxurious slices of accommodation – ‘Segera House’

This image shows the retreat’s Farmhouse, which can accommodate a family of eight in four bedrooms 

Roaringly good: This image shows one of the rooms in the opulent Farmhouse

Ted’s ride to Segera Retreat (above) from Nairobi Wilson Airport

She also delights in being made ‘chef’ and making pizzas for us (and passing members of staff) during a lunch at the poolside pizzeria.

Almost every (excellent) meal takes place in a different venue and by the end of our stay we’ve almost eaten our way around the entire retreat.

There are also herb-garden lunches, fireside dinners in the stables and breakfasts in the main ‘paddock house’ with spectacular savannah views.

Before each meal the (actual) chef talks through the proposed menu and asks if we’d like to request any tweaks.

The wines we’re served, meanwhile, are divine.

In the end at Segera Retreat, the thought that there’s nowhere else on the planet I’d rather be happens time and time again.

TRAVEL FACTS AND RATINGS 

Ted gives Segera Retreat a five out of five rating

Ted was hosted by Roar Africa – visit www.roarafrica.com and www.instagram.com/roarafrica.

Roar Africa also offers an annual ‘Greatest Safari on Earth aboard an Emirates private jet, with guests ‘experiencing four of Africa’s most iconic experiences’, hosted by Roar Africa CEO and Founder Deborah Calmeyer, alongside top guides and conservation experts. The 12-day itinerary includes Zimbabwe’s Victoria Falls, the Okavango Delta in Botswana, Kenya’s Great Migration, and meeting the world’s last wild mountain gorillas deep in the forests of Rwanda’s Volcanoes National Park. Two trips are offered in 2025 from August 10 – 22, and August 2. The trips are priced at $165,000/£126,000 per person (based on double occupancy). Visit www.roarafrica.com/emirates-gsoe-2023. 

Segera Retreat Garden villas start at $1,850/£1,417pppn, child rates (3-12 years) from $650/£500pppn. Rates for Segera House, Villa Segera, Segera Farmhouse and Segera Greenhouse start at $2,550/£1,954pppn.

Rates include all meals, all drinks, both non-alcoholic and alcoholic from a selected wine list (excludes owner’s selection of imported brands and champagne); retreat activities including game drives and walks; laundry; and Wi-Fi.

RATINGS

Roar Africa  

Pros: Passionate about African safaris and delivering seamless holidays of a lifetime; impressive attention to detail; great staff behind the scenes and on the ground. One of the very best in the business. 

Cons: None. 

Rating out of five: ***** 

Segera Retreat

Pros: Gorgeous decor; breathtaking botanical gardens; wonderful staff; excellent food and wine; outstanding game drives; private airstrip on the doorstep. The ultimate safari retreat in a landscape lost in time. One of the most incredible places you will ever stay in.

Cons: None. Though obviously not for the budget conscious.

Rating out of five: *****

Ted’s flight ticket was supplied by Emirates. Tickets for his partner and daughter were paid in full. Visit www.emirates.com/uk/english.

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