The Dorchester hotel in London is beloved by Hollywood A-listers, who must step inside and wonder if they really have left their make-believe worlds behind.

For this peachy Park Lane property – whose past guests include Elizabeth Taylor, David Bowie, Peter Sellers and Brigitte Bardot – is a veritable hospitality fantasyland. So utterly luxurious it feels unreal, like a set for a movie about the planet’s poshest hotel.

Opulence drips from every nook, cranny, corner and crevice. Eclectic furniture and art dazzle the eyeballs. Staff glide around treating every lister – A, B, C, D and downwards to Z – as if they are a visiting dignitary. No one can move further than a few feet without posing for selfies.

The AA dispatched an inspector to the Mayfair hotel this year and they were as spellbound as all the other guests, declaring the hotel ‘the best in London’ for 2024.

Given the white-hot competition for five-star hotels in the UK capital, one could argue that ‘best in London’ equals ‘best in Britain’.

I check in with my partner and seven-year-old daughter to see if the hotel lives up to the AA’s hype.

Spoiler alert: It does.

I have a suspicion it will within seconds of stepping into the magnificent lobby and spying the magical giant Christmas tree.

MailOnline Travel Editor Ted Thornhill checks in to The Dorchester hotel in London's Mayfair to see if it lives up to the hype as 'London's best hotel' for 2024, an accolade bestowed upon it by the AA

MailOnline Travel Editor Ted Thornhill checks in to The Dorchester hotel in London’s Mayfair to see if it lives up to the hype as ‘London’s best hotel’ for 2024, an accolade bestowed upon it by the AA

Ted and his family stay in the Hyde Park Suite (above), which covers 107 sq m (1,151 sq ft) 

The Hyde Park Suite ‘oozes 1930s glamour’, writes Ted. Above is the ‘swoon-inducing white-marble bathroom’

Suspicion turns to certainty within seconds of entering our quarters for the night – the Hyde Park Suite. Covering 107 sq m (1,151 sq ft) and costing from £4,500 per night, it’s one of the most prestigious of the hotel’s 241 rooms.

The space oozes 1930s glamour, but there are mod cons, too, with my daughter’s eyes popping at the vast Bang & Olufsen TVs.

Mine widen at the striking chequered marble flooring and regal blue velvet wallpaper in the entrance lobby; the swoon-inducing white-marble bathroom complete with a tub big enough for a horse; the beautiful curtains with their elegant floral motifs; the sumptuous blue sofas and striking gold-framed coffee table in the vast living room; and, last but not least, the light switches, usefully embossed with the lights they control (I know some people will be booking right now based on that feature alone).

Views of Hyde Park are available through three sets of French doors – though one does look out across slightly unsightly air conditioning units. And the balcony is wafer thin.

But to be frank, once The Dorchester has you in its warm embrace, you won’t care.

The Hyde Park Suite also comes with a butler.

Ours, Miguel, is a delight. He’s available for concierge-y booking duties, unpacking, ironing and even hanging clothes in a colour-coordinated fashion in the wardrobe, according to the hotel.

But Miguel, sensing that the priority with us is keeping our daughter enraptured, immediately disappears – and reappears with a tray for her of delicious hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows.

A true pro at work.

The Hyde Park Suite’s bedroom. Ted notes ‘the beautiful curtains with elegant floral motifs’

Above is The Dorchester’s lobby. Ted writes that at the hotel, ‘opulence drips from every nook, cranny, corner and crevice’

This image shows the hotel’s Promenade – ‘surely one of the world’s great hotel spaces’, declares Ted

The hot chocolate dispatched, we untwine ourselves from the Hyde Park Suite’s cosseted splendour, for we have a table booked at The Grill by Tom Booton, on the ground floor.

Preceding our arrival, there is the joy of walking along the hotel’s lavish corridors and enjoying the fabulous Art Deco lift (yes, even just moving around the hotel is an experience to savour).

And then, emerging in the lobby, it strikes us that it would be remiss not to acquaint ourselves with the hotel’s Artists’ Bar for a preprandial.

What a wildly dazzling spot.

It lies at the end of The Promenade, which surely is one of the world’s great hotel spaces, an avenue of pleasures resplendent with buxom banquettes, marble flooring, alluring black-and-gold pillars and striking artworks – and it’s lined by entrances to The Grill, Vesper Bar, the three-Michelin-star Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester and restaurant China Tang.

The Artists’ Bar, designed by Pierre-Yves Rochon, is billed as London’s most glamorous by the hotel’s website – and I’m not going to offer any counter-argument to that.

Positioned at a table to the side, I sip a glass of buttery Chardonnay from Essex producer Danbury Ridge (£35) and stare in wonder at the horse-shoe-shaped bar’s elegant chandelier, dazzling gold plating, Lalique crystal embellishments and the stunning pink blossom positioned behind a barman pouring drinks for guests who, like us, are barely able to suppress their glee.

To the side, meanwhile, is a singer accompanied by a pianist tinkling the ivories of Liberace’s legendary gleaming mirrored piano.

The Grill by Tom Booton, where Ted and his family enjoy dinner and breakfast

LEFT: Ted’s oysters with lemon hollandaise that he has at The Grill. RIGHT: Roasted scallop with onion soubise and Morteau sausage

LEFT: Ted’s Promenade lobster and crab cocktail salad. RIGHT: Ted’s breakfast pain au chocolat and croissant. He describes the former as the best he’s ever had

On the dining front, obviously Alain’s three-star eatery is the crowning glory, but The Grill should not be sniffed at – it’s a classy affair helmed by a hot-property chef in Tom Booton.

In the eye-catching space – all bronzes and browns with parquet flooring and a quirky spidery chandelier that looks like it’s encased in a chrysalis – we enjoy oysters with lemon hollandaise (lovely), roasted scallops with onion soubise and Morteau sausage (excellent) and perfectly cooked chicken given a flavour boost by lingonberries and black garlic.

To finish, it’s a classic with a twist – orange and kumquat trifle with leaf curd and gingerbread.

The little one? She’s tackling fish and chips and vanilla ice cream.

On the drinks front, the extremely knowledgeable Italian sommelier deploys Chassagne-Montrachet, Tickerage sparkling from East Sussex and a peppery Xinomavro from Greece by the glass to guarantee one happy set of parents.

We’re back in the morning at The Grill for a gourmet breakfast, which includes genuinely the best pain au chocolat I’ve ever had, filled with the most intensely delicious chocolate.

The Dorchester’s Vesper Bar. Ted writes that at the hotel ‘no one can move further than a few feet without posing for selfies’

The Dorchester doesn’t have a pool, but guests can use the ‘otherworldly’ pool at sister hotel 45 Park Lane (above), which lies a few feet away

Above is The Dorchester’s spa. Ted says that the hotel is so luxurious it ‘feels unreal’

Very fine dining: The three-Michelin-star Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester

Restaurant China Tang, which is accessed via the dazzling Promenade

Ted writes: ‘The hotel wins my heart, mind – and stomach’

Then a moment of hold-on-to-the-table shock. One of the waitresses has to be reminded of our sourdough toast order, which she forgets to fulfill.

This news, I suspect, will end up being discussed at board-room level.

Before reluctantly leaving, we indulge in a Promenade lunch (comforting venison Bolognese with gnocchi for £38, a throwback lobster and crab cocktail salad served 80s-style in a glass for £38, and a crepe Suzette prepared with flames tableside) under the watchful gaze of Ann Carrington’s Queen Elizabeth II portrait formed from over 1,000 mother-of-pearl buttons. And while serenaded by a quartet of a cappella Christmas-song singers of jaw-dropping talent.

To wrap it all up, we cross the road to The Dorchester’s sister hotel – 45 Park Lane – for a visit to its ultra-chic spa (the best in the UK for 2024, says the AA) and a dip in the otherworldly pool there (The Dorchester itself doesn’t have a pool).

Finally, at 5pm, we pick our bags up from the Dorchester luggage room and bid ‘London’s best hotel’ a fond farewell, with the bonhomie-imbued lobby helper Bobby (just ask for ‘Bobby in the lobby’) patiently taking photos of us every 10 yards as we make our reluctant exit into the blustery night.

The hotel wins my heart, mind – and stomach. And it will yours, too.

Can’t afford a room? Then have a bite to eat and a drink in The Promenade – and enjoy leaving the real world behind for a while.

TRAVEL FACTS 

Ted was hosted by The Dorchester, where rooms start from around £704/$900. 

The Hyde Park Suite starts at around £4,500/$5,680 a night.

For more visit www.dorchestercollection.com/london/the-dorchester. 

The Dorchester is part of Dorchester Collection’s portfolio of luxury hotels.

For more visit www.dorchestercollection.com. 

VERDICT

Pros: One of Britain’s most luxurious hotels, from top to bottom; impeccable service – whoever you are; superb dining options; incredible location; lives up to whatever hype you’ve read about it. World class.

Cons: Can there be cons to a Rolls-Royce of hotels? Wafer-thin balconies and air-conditioning units forming part of the view in some rooms might count for some.

Rating out of five: ***** 

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