When people are faced with death, they often experience a variety of emotions and gain a new perspective on their life.
While everyone’s last moments differ, palliative care nurse Julie McFadden, from Los Angeles — who’s known as Hospice Nurse Julie across social media — has revealed the three most common regrets patients share on their death beds.
Speaking to NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan on his podcast, she said these final discussions tend to centre around what they’ve taken for granted.
Most common, she said, is regretting not appreciating the years they spent in good health.
‘The first one I hear all the time is that they regret not appreciating their health while they had it,’ Ms McFadden, who has more than 15 years’ experience of caring for the dying.
‘That’s the number one thing people say to me, I wish I would have understood how amazing it is to have a working body,’ she added.
The second regret she often hears is people admitting they ‘worked too much’ and wish they hadn’t worked their life away.
Finally, she revealed in the clip shared to Instagram, that many dying patients have regrets about relationships.
While everyone’s last moments differ, palliative care nurse Julie McFadden (pictured), from Los Angeles — who’s known as Hospice Nurse Julie across social media — has revealed the three most common regrets patients share on their death beds
The nurse explained people either wish they had maintained certain relationships and friendships, or regret holding grudges.
Many patients also reveal they ‘cared too much’ about what other people thought.
Dr Rajan responded to Ms McFadden’s insight with a story of a young patient that made him realise we are not ‘immortal’ and we should not take our life ‘for granted’.
In the clip shared with his 1.5 million followers he said: ‘A few years ago when I saw a young woman come in with pancreatitis in her 20s, within three hours this young woman is in the intensive care unit, she’s intubated, ventilated, and the next day, she had passed away.
‘That just made me think wow, I’m in my 30s now, I’m 34, life can just go in a flash.
‘So yes, truly don’t take it for granted, we sometimes have this tendency to walk around like we’re immortal.’
Ms McFadden has previously said in a YouTube video that ‘death can be messy, and maybe not so pretty.’
She explained people can experience pain, shortness of breath, terminal agitation, confusion and an ‘overall chaos’.
Ms McFadden offered two strategies to avoid said ‘chaos’ in the lead-up to dying, whether the person dying is a loved one, or you.
Her number one recommendation, simply, is education and ‘knowing what to expect, knowing what’s normal, what’s not normal.’
After that, it is a matter of ‘having an open dialogue with yourself, with your doctors, with your nurses, with your family, about what you’re feeling, what you need, how they can help you,’ she explained.
It’s important to ‘understand’ that your loved one will ‘change a lot’ as they approach their end of life.
Likewise, if it’s your end of life journey, it is crucial to be prepared that your final days will be quite different than you’re used to.
‘You won’t be able to do all the things you use to do. You won’t be able to live super independently. That’s difficult, that’s difficult to accept.
‘But learning this stuff now will hopefully help you prepare so it won’t feel so chaotic when it’s happening’ on top of the ‘chaotic nature of what can happen with the body at the end of life,’ she added.
