Another day, another TikTok nomenclature: #morningshed is an elaborate beauty routine that’s supposed to work as you sleep, with ‘slimming’ chin straps, ‘detoxing’ castor oil stomach wraps and ‘plumping’ mouth masks so you can ‘go to bed ugly’ and ‘wake up pretty’ after shedding these torturous gadgets.
With well over 100 million TikTok posts, your daughter, granddaughter, and even nephew may be suffocating their skin one moment, stripping it the next.
Some are asking whether this is why Gen Z has renounced sex. They’re too busy making themselves repulsive, in order to make themselves irresistible, to get up to more traditional bedroom activity.
Sure, sleep on your back for a few days after filler or Botox to stop your face ‘setting’ wonkily. I use a Muji Neck Cushion (£19.95, muji.com) when I don’t want to face-plant.
RACE YOU TO IT!
For damaged or coily hair textures, L’Oréal Professionnel’s Absolut Repair Molecular Mask (£30, boots.com) has been scoring rave reviews. Applied pre or post-cleanse, it promises up to 94 per cent stronger hair.
LIP HITS
CLINIQUE Pop Lip & Cheek Oil in Black Honey (£23.50, clinique.co.uk). The sell-out take on the 1990s sheer burgundy icon is back as a pout and flush.
MAC Ruby Woo/Phew!/ New & Boo (from £17.60, maccosmetics.co.uk).
This four-sold-every-minute true red with a blue undertone is now in three new textures.
JONES ROAD The Lippie Stick
in Me (£22, libertylondon.com).
Instead of ‘ageing’ lipstick, Bobbi Brown uses liner, then this minty, nude-tinted balm.
LANCOME Juicy Tubes Ultra Shiny Lip Gloss in 03 Dreamsicle (£19.50, johnlewis.com).
Immerse yourself in retro gloss magic – Dreamsicle is a cloudy Noughties pink.
NARS Lipstick in Schiap (£20.40, johnlewis.com).
Named after surrealist Italian designer Elsa Schiaparelli, who made shocking fuchsia her signature.
But some overnight beauty ordeals may actually do you damage. Leave a pore strip on and you can wake to a red and weeping nose. While if I go anywhere near an elasticated bonnet, I am left with furious red welts etched into my skin for hours.
Here’s my tried-and-tested guide to the #midlifemorningshed – what’s worth an overnight experiment, and what will simply ruin your night (and potentially the next day, too …).
SLIP ON A SLEEP MASK
I was one of the first to trial the Ostrichpillow Original Napping Pillow (£99.99, amazon.co.uk): a strange, alien, head cocoon blocking light and sound. Not only did looking so weird nearly get me arrested on a train, regular use would be a (literal) barrier to a relationship.
Opt for an elegant Drowsy Drop Original Sleep Mask (£69, drowsy-sleep.com) instead. These cult, adjustable, wrap-around masks block light and muffle noise. I adore the midnight blue, while the rich red and pale gold are currently reduced to £55.
BUILD YOUR BROWS
Leaving eye patches on overnight is a quick route to an allergic reaction. Instead, come morning, don Garnier Anti-Fatigue Hyaluronic Acid Cryo Jelly Eye Patches (now £3.30, boots.com) straight from the fridge. But do use Revitalash Advanced Eyelash Conditioner (from £59, revitalash.co.uk) and Olaplex Browbond Building Serum Eyebrow Enhancer (£51.20, johnlewis.com). They work, combatting midlife lash and brow balding beautifully.
SLAP ON A SERUM
Don’t suffocate your skin overnight in some sweaty synthetic mask. Rather, apply a serum that addresses its issues, while letting your skin breathe.
I am yet to find a nocturnal stalwart I respect more than Beauty Pie Youthbomb 360° Radiance Concentrate Serum (members £44, non-members, £93, beautypie.com), a fusion of 15 active ingredients to brighten, tighten, firm, hydrate and add glow. Then add a layer of whatever moisturiser floats your boat.
PATCHES ARE SPOT ON
The salicylic acid in Clean & Clear Advantage Rapid Gel (£3.37, boots.com) will nuke the odd boil, but it’s not for wider areas, where it may render your skin dry and flaky. Instead, act like a teen and festoon your face in patches. Try Hero Mighty Pimple Patches Invisible+ (£7.99 for 24, boots.com).
YES, USE A HAIR CREAM
Oiling your hair overnight makes for a depressing mess. Instead, smooth on L’Oréal Paris Elvive Hydra [Hyaluronic] Overnight Cream (£7.79, boots.com) for a polished look by breakfast. Or if grease is your issue, sleep in a mist of dry shampoo.
BOOST BEAUTY SLEEP
There’s no better beauty boost than a good night’s sleep, but it can be hard to come by in midlife. If you’re struggling, you need magnesium. This Works’ fragrant, magnesium-laden Deep Sleep Body Whip (£22.40, johnlewis.com) is very heaven.
My icon of the week…
Sarah Michelle Gellar arrives at the 35th Annual Producers Guild Awards at The Ray Dolby Ballroom on February 25, 2024 in Hollywood, California
Sarah-Michelle Geller
The Buffy star, above, who’s next on our screens as a CSI chief in Dexter: Original Sin, loves pricey skincare Augustinus Bader, but also Cetaphil Hydrating Gentle Skin Cleanser (£11.50, Boots) and Bio-Oil Skincare Oil (£8, Boots). She’s also a fan of Merit’s 1980 Volumizing Eyebrow Gel-Pomade and Brow 1990 Ultra Fine Eyebrow Gel Pencil (£48 for both, meritbeauty.com).
Cosmetic Craving
A friend having a terrible time told me that her nightly hot-cloth cleanse is her favourite part of the day right now.
I totally understand this, so gave her M&S Apothecary Revive Nourishing Cleansing Butter (£12.50, marksandspencer.com) to make the experience still more restorative.
This balm smells sublime: an aromatherapeutic cocktail of eucalyptus, lavender, lemongrass and sandalwood. It gently dissolves even waterproof cosmetics and is great for this time of year, leaving complexions softly nourished. I carry a 125g tin whenever I travel, and prefer this to rivals several times the price.
