Lisann Valentin had just moved houses in New York and was feeling stressed when she met her dead grandfather in a dream for the first time.
Valentin, who was 40 at the time and an actor and writer, had been a ‘lucid dreamer’ – someone aware they are dreaming and can sometimes control what is happening – her whole life.
Practicing lucid dreaming has been central to spiritual practices such as Tibetan Buddhism and the meeting with her grandfather started a spiritual awakening for Valentin.
Valentin was working as a writer and actor when she met her dead grandfather (Lisann Valentin)
Valentin said that she was feeling conflicted over her decision to live in a new area four years ago, when her grandfather appeared to her.
She said: ‘When he came to me in the dream, he showed me the potential outcome of my decision to stay in the area, and everything looked positive.
‘The images appeared as symbols, and I relied on my feelings to interpret them, and we had conversations where I could hear him speak, but I couldn’t see his mouth move. It almost felt like telepathy.’
A painting of grandfather A.M. Garcia who she affectionately called, ‘Papito.’
She said that her grandfather appeared to her repeatedly in dreams, and showed her different dream symbols to communicate with her.
He showed her flowers, which Valentin took as an indication to ‘stay the course’ of her decision to move – and to explore her Puerto Rican heritage.
She said: ‘Dream meaning has always been very big in my family and everyone went to my grandfather (we called him ‘Papito’) to help them determine the meaning. I learned a lot from him.
‘If my grandfather presents flowers to me in a dream, and the feeling I have around it is full of love and joy, then my association with receiving flowers as a gift is a beautiful symbol.
‘I know something wonderful will happen based on what that symbol means to me and how I feel in the dream.
‘Additionally, I write the dream right away upon waking because in that state of presence I will be able to honestly determine what the dream means to me. Since my grandfather’s passing, I lean on that inner knowing.’
Other symbols are more ominous.
She said: ‘On the other hand, if someone is about to pass away, I receive different symbols that indicate when it might happen. This can be depressing, but it has helped my family be with loved ones before they passed.
‘He helped me support my family when another family member was about to cross over.’
Lucid dreamers can control what they see (Shutterstock)
‘The dream about an imminent passing had cues that went beyond the dream. In this dream with my grandfather, he was in the kitchen cooking and the food was ash.
‘He then put his thumb on my forehead and turned away. I had an ominous feeling.
‘When I woke, as I wrote the dream down, I realized Ash Wednesday was a few days away.
‘I looked at my phone and got a notification that my Great Aunt had just entered hospice. And in that moment I knew she would be transitioning on Ash Wednesday.’
Lucid dreams have been extensively studied by scientists, with one 2017 University of Adelaide study suggesting that techniques such as regularly checking if you are dreaming and waking after five hours can help to induce lucid dreams.
The scientists found a 17 percent success rate in inducing lucid dreams among a volunteer group.
Valentin says she has been having lucid dreams since she was eight years old – and prior to her grandfather’s death, had a dream which was a premonition.
She said: ‘I’d once dreamt I was giving a speech on a stage. I became aware that I was on a stage wearing black, the place was beautiful but it felt sad to me. I didn’t like it.
‘A year later as I gave my grandfather’s eulogy I had déjà vu on that stage – it was the moment in my dream.’
Her dream experience persuaded her to explore her Puerto Rican heritage – she says her grandfather was a ‘curandero’ or shaman.
She now works as a spiritual coach
She said: ‘Puerto Rican culture is a blend of European, African, and indigenous Taino influences. Many of our traditions were blended and hidden over time, yet the practices endured.
‘Every Saturday at my family’s house, I learned from my mother, grandfather, his mother, and his grandmother, all of whom were Curanderos or Curanderas.’
She said: ‘My dream meeting with my grandfather gave me more confidence to embrace the opportunities that were manifesting in my life because the overall trajectory felt positive.
‘While I couldn’t foresee every detail of what would happen, I knew with certainty that moving forward was the right decision for me, and it has proven to be so. It even led me to become a spiritual coach, which I hadn’t considered before.’
She has since had other dreams where she has been contacted by the dead – including one where she was in an ‘otherworldly oasis’ where she heard a familiar voice of a friend’s mother who had passed away.
She said: ‘I heard her voice clearly as she gently reassured me that she was happy, just resting. I later relayed the message to her family.
In another dream, she said she met a taxi driver, who she believes might have been God.
Valentin says that her ‘key’ to lucid dreaming is to not ‘force’ anything, and to have no expectations about what will happen.
She advises not drinking alcohol, and practicing mindfulness activities such as meditating during the day.
I’ve been lucid dreaming since I was little; it comes naturally to me, but other people have to train this skill set,’ she said. ‘To practice lucid dreaming, try this: place a glass of water beside your bed. Before falling asleep, look at the glass and decide that you will encounter it in your dream. Once asleep, observe whether the glass appears in your dream.
‘If it does, drink the water and note the sensation. This exercise can help you realize that you can manipulate your dream environment, bringing you closer to regular lucid dreaming. Remember, mastering this skill takes time and patience: I’d try this at least three times.’
Valentin says that people she speaks to often fear that they might ‘not return from lucid dreams – and it’s key to conquer this fear to enter the lucid dream state.
She said, ‘Decide that you will always return. People often fear that they’ll disappear and never come back; they worry that they’ll get lost in the dream state and be unable to return to their body. This isn’t true.’
She says that your goal in lucid dreaming is to become an observer.
She says, ‘You can have prophetic dreams, astral travel dreams, or full on OBEs (out of body experiences). The more mindful you are in waking life, and the more present you are in this reality, the more you prime your dream life to create lucid experiences that will support your day to day experiences.
