An inquest into the death of former Strictly Come Dancing professional Robin Windsor has heard that the dancer left suicide notes describing how being dropped from the BBC programme in 2015 left him “destroyed” and living “permanently in a dark place”.
Mr Windsor, who was 44 when he died in February 2024, was discovered in his hotel room at the Hoxton in West London by a member of staff after he failed to check out.
PC Emily Hampson told the hearing at West London Coroner’s Court that she found two handwritten notes near the dancer’s body.
In one of the letters, Mr Windsor traced his mental health struggles directly back to his departure from the popular dance competition a decade earlier, writing: “This all really started when I lost my job on Strictly and have been fighting it ever since.
“The way they treated me destroyed me… It started me on the road I’m still on,” he wrote. “All I wanted from life was to be happy. I loved my job more than anyone else.”
The dancer described being overwhelmed by “heartache, the loneliness, the constant sadness,” stating that everything had become “too much” to bear.
“I just live permanently in a dark place,” he wrote. “I just can’t live like this anymore. It’s just too painful.”
The dancer continued: “I had a good run, I’ve done some incredible things in my 44 years and had an unreal life doing what I loved, but all things must come to an end, and my curtain has come down for the final time.”
Robin Windsor was partnered with celebrities including Emmerdale’s Lisa Riley on the dancing show | PA
Mr Windsor appeared on Strictly between 2010 and 2013, partnering celebrities including Patsy Kensit, Anita Dobson, Lisa Riley and Deborah Meaden.
A back injury requiring surgery in 2013 forced him to miss the 2014 series, and programme bosses opted not to reinstate him the following year.
His friend and former colleague Kristina Rihanoff gave an emotional testimony at the hearing, describing the “psychological impact” of his departure as “very severe” because his ongoing back problems meant he “couldn’t do what he loved”.
She told the court it was “heartbreaking” to witness him become “sad, subdued and burdened”.
Robin Windsor was officially axed from the show in 2015
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Ms Rihanoff also characterised the programme as a “very lonely space” offering “not much support” to contestants and professionals.
Former executive producer Louise Rainbow explained that Mr Windsor was one of three dancers released ahead of the 2015 series as part of a creative refresh.
She recalled him being “very disappointed” but said his reaction did not differ significantly from the others and caused her no concern.
Ms Rihanoff added that Mr Windsor was subsequently offered roles on the Christmas special and It Takes Two, which he accepted, describing him as a “joy to work with”.
Mr Windsor’s ex-boyfriend Marcus Collins provided testimony through a written statement read to the court by the assistant coroner.
He described Mr Windsor as “inconsolable” upon learning of his dismissal, recounting that the news reached them whilst they were on holiday in New York.
Mr Collins stated: “The day he was informed he was no longer required really broke his spirit.”
The dancer’s aunt, Alison Windsor, echoed this assessment, telling the hearing her nephew was “absolutely devastated” by the decision.
“He lived for dancing, breathed it, slept it. That was his vocation in life,” she said on Monday. “Being called for Strictly is every professional dancer’s dream.”
Ms Windsor said she believes that the combination of his spinal problems and subsequent dismissal marked a turning point. “I do honestly 100 per cent believe that was the start of Robin’s decline,” she told the court.
A post-mortem examination determined that Mr Windsor’s death was likely caused by an overdose of drugs and alcohol.
The second note discovered at the scene was addressed to his former partner Ollie Augustin, a performer in Starlight Express.
His aunt said he ‘lived for dancing’
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In it, Mr Windsor explicitly stated: “I need you to understand that this is not your fault!”
The inquest heard that Mr Windsor had been placed on suicide watch by his pantomime company during the Christmas period of 2023.
Mr Augustin testified that Mr Windsor had made concerning statements during their relationship, telling him “he would kill himself if he couldn’t be with me and there’s no point in living.”
The couple had agreed to cease contact in January 2024, and the court heard Mr Windsor was struggling to cope with the separation.
Dragons’ Den star Deborah Meaden, Mr Windsor’s former dance partner, submitted a written statement noting that when they last spoke a year before his death, he appeared to have “come through the bad times and had plans for the future.”
The inquest continues.
Anyone who is in emotional distress, struggling to cope or at risk of suicide can call the Samaritans anonymously for free from a UK phone on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.
