No matter what they say to their children, parents really do have a favourite, a study has found.
Daughters are 11 per cent more likely to be the apples of their parents’ eyes than sons, data showed. Organised and responsible children are also likely to be mum and dad’s golden child.
Scientists analysed data from 30 different studies of almost 20,000 people, looking for a trend between parental favouritism and the characteristics of offspring.
They analysed the personality traits of children – extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism – as well as the characteristics of parents.
Daughters were preferred more often than sons, by both mothers and fathers, in a trend seen globally.
“Our models suggest that parents report they slightly favour daughters over sons (a small effect). Children report no differences,” the scientists wrote in their study.
“That is, daughters do not perceive that they are favoured more than sons, and vice versa.”
Girls easier to parent?
Previous research has found girls can be easier to parent than boys – and that may cause a slight favouritism. The difference is only small however, and the children do not notice, the data suggested.
Alexander Jensen of Brigham Young University, the lead author of the study, told The Telegraph there was no evidence to explain why girls were preferred to boys, but speculated it was related to how easy they are to entertain.
“Decades of research suggest that girls on average are more likely to play indoors with smaller groups of friends [but] boys are more likely to play outdoors with larger groups,” he said.
“This may translate to boys being harder to parent, if parents are less willing to let them play outdoors unsupervised.”
The study found that children who scored highly for conscientiousness and agreeableness were more likely to be favoured.
“Similar to conscientious children, agreeable children may be easier to parent,” the researchers wrote.
“Agreeable children may tend to acquiesce in the face of potential conflict and may be quick to try to please parents. Conscientious children may be responsive and responsible.”
Conscientious children received more affection, the study found, and also argued less with their parents.
Parents were more likely to give older siblings greater autonomy, possibly because they were more mature, the scientists said.
Mental health impact
Previous research has shown that children who are not their parents’ favourite can suffer from poor mental health and worse familial relationships, and the authors of the new paper urged doctors to be aware of the impact favouritism can have on children.
“Our findings provide an idea of which siblings in a family may be prone to be less favoured and, thus, at greater risk for maladaptive outcomes: sons, younger siblings (in some cases), the less conscientious, and the less agreeable,” the scientists wrote.
“Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially damaging family patterns. It is crucial to ensure all children feel loved and supported,” said Mr Jensen.
“It is important to note that this research is correlational, so it doesn’t tell us why parents favor certain children. However, it does highlight potential areas where parents may need to be more mindful of their interactions with their children.”
“So, the next time you’re left wondering whether your sibling is the golden child, remember there is likely [to be] more going on behind the scenes than just a preference for the eldest or youngest.
“It might be about responsibility, temperament or just how easy or hard you are to deal with.”
The study is published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.
